1 day ago
Dear Her Own Wild Winds,
The first time I ever saw you in a bookstore, I cried.
You sat there, a little labour of love created by a virtually unheard of writer, next to the likes of Elizabeth Gilbert and Stephen King and Chris Hadfield, and you held your own in a way that I never would have expected.
Someone bought of copy of you while I happen to be there. I saw her reading your back cover and walk away with you. She bought you and Harry Potter together, and I had never felt more proud of the new friends you were making.
Tomorrow, when we wake up, it’s not going to be just us anymore.
Pretty soon, we’ll be introducing your sibling to the world and it may feel a bit uncomfortable for awhile.
But before we do, before it stops being just you and me, there’s something I really need you to know…
You changed me.
And you did so in the best way possible.
When I first wrote you, I was so busy writing the words that I didn’t consider the idea of someone else reading them.
But someone else did. So many people did.
We had book signings and virtual gatherings and podcasts and interviews. Copies of you are in South Africa, Korea, tiny rural libraries and aboard US Navy ships. I was even told that a college paper was written about you for an English Literature Class.
It has been such a humbling experience and an absolute privilege in every sense of the word.
And it also tore me to pieces. Because in a strange and unexpected way, the act of being seen by others…forced me to really see myself.
So I entered a period of great solitude and isolation. A period of wrestling with God and my inner most fears. A period of too many questions and not enough answers.
I entered a wilderness.
A time when everything looked good on the outside…but didn’t feel good on the inside.
A time when being known by others...helped me to better know myself.
It was hard and scary and filled with dark shadows. It was lonely and discouraging and pulled my faith in many directions. It was filled with rejection and pain and endless amounts of self-doubt. (continue below...)